Don’t tell me to close my eyes and let go. The Chubby Cloud experience.

When I vowed to write about current events, I meant it.  When that current event turned into a past event and is still not finished, I own it.  Although long overdue, after prolonged period of distilling and pondering, I’m finally writing again!  (Frankly, who gives a fuck when/what/how I write or not write?  I’m not Elon Musk).

 A mindfulness exercise hosted by Anya Hindmarch; on a giant bean bag, a “recyclable” bean bag, in the heavenly surroundings of the Banqueting House.  First order of business, put on the Oompa Loompa overalls.  We were then reminded that nothing was allowed inside the hall, except for your phones (#chubbycloud).

 “Close your eyes… breath in… breath out… let go of the negatives… “ (in a loop for the next half an hour). 

I was there, lying down, eyes wide open, studying Rubens’s ceiling at the Banqueting House.  I peeped around, everyone was following the instructions, concentrating on being mindful.  I, on the other hand, was wondering when can I make a move to the other side of the giant bean bag so I can see the other panels. 

These panels were all painted in Rubens’s workshop in Antwerp then sent to London.  So no, Rubens didn’t risk cramping his neck standing on a 67 feet tall scaffolding (ceiling to ground is about 72 feet) composing these masterpieces.  He also let his assistants and students painted the less important parts. 

While I was there, mind wondered from Rubens to Charles I, who commissioned the work and got his head chopped off (separate incidents); then to Charles II, once the King of England, then suddenly Charles II, the hen from the Menagerie Horton, popped into my head.  It’s amazing how your mind wonders when you’re not concentrating on being mindful!

Poppy’s voice drifted in and out, still on the same loop from the beginning.  I preferred it tuned out, since the messages were superficial and disconnecting.  “Dig deeper girl!  You are selling the app to the masses, but your messages don’t have to be generic and bland!” 

The experience was soon over with classical music blasting. We were ushered into the café.  All kind of sweet treats for you to consume and get high on loaded sugar.  And don’t forget the gift shop! An £895 Anya Hindmarch handbag to take your mind off mindfulness and send you right back to this wonderful Capitalist society.